Fleeting Frailty
by Garowyn
Summary: That day, you had been stolen from me or I from you. Before I knew it, we had become strangers, and the distance between us spread like a great canyon. And now I fear we are brothers by blood only, and nothing more.


**Author's Note: I do not own Prince of Tennis. There is no shonen-ai or incest; they are brothers and brothers only here. A special thanks goes to Caorann fridh Bronach for beta reading. ****Let me know in a mature or respectful manner if the characters are in-character or not. This is a one-shot. I am following the manga with some anime information from web sites and Ilychluna, and my own interpretation of words said during some flashback scene with the brothers when they were children.**

**

* * *

**

I never dreamed that it would come to this.

If someone had told me five years ago that it would end up like this, I would have never believed it. At that time, it seemed impossible, unfathomable. We were so close. I looked out for you, just as any older brother would have. It was my duty, my responsibility, and my desire to protect you from the bullies that would pick on you. You were a part of my family, the people and house where I am free to be myself and do anything, because I knew my family would always love me, regardless. That is how it usually works. Forgive and forget, a blissful existence.

When you fell down, shoved merciless by the older kids, I ran as fast as I could so I could to be by your side. I stood in front, like a shield, until they had gone, or else I would try to chase them away, beat them up, despite my scrawniness and younger age. You would look at me with a dirty, smudged face, pressing your lips so hard to keep from crying. I remember; I saw your glistening eyes and I smiled. It's all right, I had said, they're gone now. You don't need to worry anymore.

I watched as you scrunched your face and clenched your teeth, avoiding meeting my gaze. Someone had once told you that boys don't cry. Yet whoever said that had not seen the things that boys and men alike go through. But I did. I smiled; it's OK. I'll be right there when someone bullies you again. Come, let's go home.

We went home, side by side, yet...you always seemed to be half a step behind me, and until now, I never questioned it. I was older, so I must've had a longer step as opposed to yours. But I know differently now.

You worked hard and tirelessly to stand on your own, not telling me when you went off to the park by yourself, and I didn't really notice, at least not seriously. I had my own life to live, as well, and I lived it. I took a liking to tennis, and it brought me to a level of recognition that I never thought would blind others with amazement, and caused you to live in my shadow.

I went to a different school that year: Seishun Academy Middle School. As arrogant as it sounds, that is where I received my fifteen minutes of fame as I took on many opponents like the eighth and ninth-graders with my skill level gradually growing; I reacted faster and did not panic when a shot came close to my face. I would practice at home in the yard, taking swings, and you, in elementary school at the time, would practice with me, for you had taken an interest in tennis, too. I had fun during those days, and I hope you did, also.

It happened so quickly; you entered Seishun a year later, becoming a seventh-grader while I was an eight-grader. Things were going so well, and any gap between us was cause of diverse interests because no two people are alike. We aren't, and we never will be. Is that a good thing? You think so now, and I can remember how it started.

I was Shusuke Fuji, a starter for the tennis team. And you were not Yuuta Fuji. You were known and called Shusuke Fuji's little brother. It upset you. You might have had dreams of becoming a great tennis player, only to have such hopes shattered with simple, harmless words, harmless to others, but not to you.

You grew quiet, and I noticed bit by bit that you did not talk much. You retreated to your room more often, indulging in your video games and comics. Dad, Mom, Sis...they began to notice, and I gave my own reasons for your "disappearances" now and then, saying you had been abducted by aliens, jokingly, of course. But I'll never forget that look in your eyes when I went too far, asking if you were going to try out for the tennis team. You muttered something that I cannot figure out to this day, and left the house to go hang around outside.

That day, you had been stolen from me or I from you. Tennis had stolen my time, my effort, and I did not mind. I loved it. I loved that thrill of going against players, who forced me to go that extra mile. I learned quickly to never underestimate, for you never know if a serpent lies beneath the flowers. All that time, I played tennis, and I made a great group of friends with their own unique quirks and personalities, barely giving a thought to whether you had made friends, too. I rarely saw you in the school halls; no one asked me about you, and I didn't even know that they asked you about me until you told me yourself in anger.

You didn't spend as much time in your room anymore. As it turns out, you did make a few friends, people who were not from Seishun. I soon discovered you were playing tennis, learning from other people in a private tennis club, and practicing by yourself in a street tennis court. You had been under observation by students of St. Rudolph. You continued to go back, befriending them and playing against them.

Before I knew it, we had become strangers, and the distance between us spread like a great canyon. You and I hardly spent any time together, just being friends...being brothers. Believe me, I tried, I tried to understand and ask what the matter was, but I accomplished nothing. You did not tell me then, and even I grew annoyed with being ignored and treated rudely, like I was your enemy and not your sibling. Whenever you did speak to me, I would return the same behavior, so much that things between us really became strained. When asked what the problem was by our parents, I only replied nonchalantly, saying there was no problem, when there really was a serious problem, which made narrowing that gap harder.

I sincerely regret not making a real attempt to better our relations. It wasn't long before you announced to us that you were going to transfer to St. Rudolph. I had seen it coming. I wouldn't see you everyday like before. My brother, barely an adolescent, was moving out like he was going to college. I understood that you would visit us on weekends, but that didn't give us enough time, time to unearth that bond we had before, that we so unknowingly buried in the last couple of months.

Hajime Mizuki was the one who had sealed your fate at St. Rudolph. I envy him because he saw your potential before I did, and made use of it. This is one of the reasons why I do not like him, aside from his teaching you tennis moves that could endanger your health. That reason seems so trivial, though, compared to the other things I saw. You had found new friends, new brothers in those at St. Rudolph. Hajime had become the one who perceived – though with an ulterior motive for personal gain and glory – your skills, helping you improve. Shinya appeared to be the joking one, the one who could make you laugh. Atsushi was your friend, and I'm certain that the rest of your new team, Ichiro and Yoshiro, were your friends as well because they congratulated you after your match against Ryoma Echizen even though you had lost. They prized you for Yuuta Fuji, not Shusuke Fuji's little brother.

And now I fear that we are brothers by blood only, and nothing more but two ships passing in the night. Your new-found companions became your family away from family. I was non-existent in your life, or so it seemed. Was I? Am I? When you arrived home one weekend, several weeks after transferring, I saw a glimmer, a flicker of surprise and gladness when I asked if you wanted to play a video game. No tennis involved, just a simple video game, and you won. But did the thought of me letting you win pass through your mind? I hope not, and it seems rather ridiculous to think like that, but I can't help but wonder if I had subconsciously let you win in order to gain your approval, or if I had shown a pure lack of talent in managing the controls. I wonder if I will ever know.

However, that sign in your eyes, that smile when you won and good-naturedly rubbed it in, that made me smile. We were smiling again, joking around like the past. In fact, we argued the day after about normal matters, like who got first dibs on dessert, just like brothers. Those moments, whether insignificant or not, meant a lot to me. But what really added to my hopes was that game against Ryoma. We had played before, you and I, but this game really gave me a chance to see your skills. Not only that, I saw and heard many conclusions. The way you played gave me the impression that you were trying to prove something. What was it? Were you trying to prove to everyone present that you were your own person?

I found out. Ryoma provoked you countless times with his playing and words. I heard him say, "You're aiming for your brother. I'm aiming higher." That tells me that all along you didn't believe you were good enough to beat me. And sure enough, you lost to me every time we played a match. Yuuta...I don't want you to reach my level; I want you to go beyond. I'm proud of you.

But I am not proud of myself. If you were originally trying to reach my level, then that must mean you were looking up to me in some way. Have I been a good role model? Was I a good brother?

Right now, our relationship is so frail. I'm almost afraid to act normally and comfortably around you because you might take it a wrong way, yell at me, and distance yourself even further from me. I don't want to make you angry, sad – I want you to be content with calling me your brother. I want things to be the way they were again, even with those mild differences in the fact that we are older and going in separate directions.

And so, I'm reaching for something higher myself. I know there is a chance to gain what we lost, and strengthen that bond between us. I know that there will be times when you must walk by yourself and face life. I know that I cannot always be there for you; I know that you must follow your own path and decide on the right decision yourself. Because you are Yuuta Fuji, and he will grow up to be great.

I don't want us or our family to end up like the unstable ones you see on TV or in the movies. I don't want us to break apart, even though I am preparing myself for that possibility. But, I'm also preparing for the glorious future. We haven't talked yet about our future careers, but I will support whatever you decide to do. I will stand by your side, instead of in front so that you won't be in my shadow anymore. And when we're so busy and far away from each other, I want to be sure that we will have a good time in reuniting and reminiscing instead of remembering in sorrow. I want to be at your graduation, to give you a high five because you have reached the end of one stage in your life. I want to take photographs at your wedding – will I be your best man?

I can't wait till you visit again -- the gap is closing, making progress little by little. Let's talk and enjoy these days. Let's be friends. We don't have to talk about tennis. We can play video games, tease Sis, or race to the kitchen when dinner is called. Let's be brothers once more.

I never dreamed it would come to this, but it did. Yet I believe it will pass.

* * *

**Author's Note: This obviously has been done before, but I'm taking my shot at it before I get into anything else, just to get comfortable enough with some characters. I do hope you read the author's notes before the story began, to avoid asking questions asked or saying anything I already explained.**


End file.
